Tag Archives: love

friends, life, self defense

Not Even There

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big little dog

This is what I’m putting behind me with this writing.

There is an old cartoon. As I recall, it was a little toy breed of dog who would jump around all excited around his much larger friend, I think his name was Gus. Little dog was like “whatta we gonna do Gus?!!!” “What should we do today!!” This little guy was so excited and fawned over his friend. And the big guy was mostly apathetic toward it all. In fact, he probably wished that little dog wasn’t even there. What a nuisance, right?

Sometimes, friendships are like that. Some people light up your life. They walk in the room and their smile infects everyone to smile too. They have a charisma or a sweetness that melts your heart. Yet, you stand there like the Invisible Man. You may as well not even exist.

I often feel like that little dog. I can go head over heels in supporting my friends. They may be offering a “macrame workshop” and I don’t have a lot of interest in macrame. Or maybe I want to find interest in macrame just because I want to support my friend. I’ve set up events and workshops where a handful or less showed up. I’ll admit it made me sad. Not even my friends showed up. You thought that at least your friends would be there for you. So then, you become guarded and no longer set up events. Nobody likes to fail. And nobody wants to be disregarded by friends.

There is a song by James Taylor that goes:

Shower the people you love with love,
show them the way that you feel.
Things are gonna work out fine,
if you only will.

I would love to be this way all the time. Realistically, I would say I am that person 80% of the time. But the other 20%…well that’s where I’ve been lately. Its when you feel invisible…disregarded…alone. You feel like you are on a one-way street. A street that you travel to be there for people. But they don’t travel the other way to you. Is it selfish to seek goodness in everyone and not get it in return? To give compliments, empathy, and compassion, and not receive anything back? Maybe. But we can’t control other people.

So, I will take control. I will be the Master of my domain. I will probably not change my 80% as a giver. I need to do a cost/benefit analysis of my stocks. I will put all I have into investments that give good returns. And I won’t invest in stocks that give nothing.

To those I love…well, the showers of goodness they’ll get will overflow with richness, so much that they will have no choice but to share it with others.

Much love to you my friends.

art, life, mindfulness

In The Eye of the Beholder

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painting

A Masterpiece needs no explanation.

If just a glimpse in the corner of your eye, does it gather your attention?

Perhaps a sunrise. A long-haired maiden. A colorful mural resting in the shadows of an alley.

You hear a sound. Music in your ears. Orchestrated by the most delicate touch.

Crescendos. Decrescendos. Andante. Allegro!!

An image that comes to life. You can see the artist’s sweeping strokes.

Wafting sinews of a blend of spices from a Master Chef.

If it needs interpretation, is it art?

If it doesn’t captivate you, does it have significance in your heart?

It should take your breath away. It melts my soul.

friends, teacher training, Uncategorized

This Ole Friend

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I walked in the room and it was like his face was in a tunnel. All I could see was his gleaming smile. He smiled and I smiled back. All the others in the room were ghosts. The yoga mats and props riddling my path were passed without a thought. Without thinking, we connected in a manly hug that meant so much. We are the kind of friends that go well beyond shaking hands. He is like a brother to me. He was sorely missed.

Truth be told. We ARE like brothers. While we are connected by yoga and many of its ideals, we are probably socially, politically, and ideologically opposites. But yoga is stronger than all of those -ologies.

We did our 200 hour yoga teacher training together. We’ve laid hands on each other and the dozen or so others in the class as well. We instructed each other and adjusted our positions. We are a band of brothers and sisters. We’ve seen tears, heartache, and deep bonding through our trials. Most of us showed hearts outside of the skin, while others were more guarded. I was probably the latter. It seems the younger you are, the more outspoken you are. Old, wise people like me often sat and pondered quietly.

The past few months, my brother in yoga took a long, many day adventure by bicycle. Having participated in backpacking adventures and ultramarathons myself, I knew of the travails of such escapades. I thought about him and even worried for him at times. It only takes one person texting while driving to end a life. But it was his journey to take and I admire him for it. While I wouldn’t have the courage to do such a thing, I’m thankful for his bravery now that he is safe.

Now that I write this, if someone saw us from afar they’d think we were strangers. But we have this magnetic resonance that can’t be severed. Everybody needs people like this in your life. It is something special.