Tag Archives: engagement

Not Even There

big little dog

This is what I’m putting behind me with this writing.

There is an old cartoon. As I recall, it was a little toy breed of dog who would jump around all excited around his much larger friend, I think his name was Gus. Little dog was like “whatta we gonna do Gus?!!!” “What should we do today!!” This little guy was so excited and fawned over his friend. And the big guy was mostly apathetic toward it all. In fact, he probably wished that little dog wasn’t even there. What a nuisance, right?

Sometimes, friendships are like that. Some people light up your life. They walk in the room and their smile infects everyone to smile too. They have a charisma or a sweetness that melts your heart. Yet, you stand there like the Invisible Man. You may as well not even exist.

I often feel like that little dog. I can go head over heels in supporting my friends. They may be offering a “macrame workshop” and I don’t have a lot of interest in macrame. Or maybe I want to find interest in macrame just because I want to support my friend. I’ve set up events and workshops where a handful or less showed up. I’ll admit it made me sad. Not even my friends showed up. You thought that at least your friends would be there for you. So then, you become guarded and no longer set up events. Nobody likes to fail. And nobody wants to be disregarded by friends.

There is a song by James Taylor that goes:

Shower the people you love with love,
show them the way that you feel.
Things are gonna work out fine,
if you only will.

I would love to be this way all the time. Realistically, I would say I am that person 80% of the time. But the other 20%…well that’s where I’ve been lately. Its when you feel invisible…disregarded…alone. You feel like you are on a one-way street. A street that you travel to be there for people. But they don’t travel the other way to you. Is it selfish to seek goodness in everyone and not get it in return? To give compliments, empathy, and compassion, and not receive anything back? Maybe. But we can’t control other people.

So, I will take control. I will be the Master of my domain. I will probably not change my 80% as a giver. I need to do a cost/benefit analysis of my stocks. I will put all I have into investments that give good returns. And I won’t invest in stocks that give nothing.

To those I love…well, the showers of goodness they’ll get will overflow with richness, so much that they will have no choice but to share it with others.

Much love to you my friends.

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